The Top 10 Times To Get Stoned
July 16, 2009
by Al Todorovic
- wake and bake – getting notoriously stoned right when you wake up eating pop-tarts playing video golf. you know this.
- 4:20 – when you notice it’s 4:18 and you pack the bowl, the green hit just tastes better at four-twentyyy!
- getting ripped right before work – then walking around like a zombie while everyone else does their bullshit.
- bowl cruisin’ – getting out of class, waitin’ for the celly to ring, smoking bowls and jamming BCN-ZLX.
- the goodnight bowl – grabbing the comic book you’ve been trying to read, taking three hits max. then going out like a light and waking up with the book open on your nose.
- the bowl you smoke when you wake up because you’re too drunk to sleep – bowl smoking with TV land near mute so your parents won’t give you shit when they wake up for work.
- smoking fat joints at concerts – those couple times you planned it out and brought enough weed to get really stoned.
- smoking fat joints at thanksgiving – yeah yeah kiddos, we can watch ice age.
- the pot some shitty kid packs after he begs for a ride – you get stoned and don’t hate driving him home half as much.
- the pot you smoke on your 15 minute break from driver’s ed. retraining when you have to go every three years to keep your license – out of the whole 8 hours of deathly boredom they put you through at least you can get grilled a few times in the parking lot
If necessary smoke a butt, studies show you’ll get 20% higher.
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Domino’s Million Calorie Bowls
July 9, 2009
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Daddy Hundo
July 7, 2009
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The Top 10 Things To Eat While You’re Stoned
June 17, 2009
by Jason Bongwell
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Buffalo Chicken and Bacon Calzone – #1 for a reason
- Mozzarella Sticks – deep fried cheese, who could go wrong
- French Onion Sun Chips – love those whole grains
- Sour Patch Kids – with me to the end
- Shepherd Pie – a culinary essential
- Lobster Tails – melts in your mouth like the butter it’s dipped in
- Grilled Steak Tips – marinated meat open flame, enough said
- Fettuccine with Chicken, Broccoli & Alfredo – always a favorite
- Stouffer’s Mac&Cheese – cheese tastic
- Frank’s Red Hot Sauce – I put that shit on everything
*Honorable Mention – Nana’s Swedish Meatballs
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Network News Episode 7
June 7, 2009
Network News: In Depth In America
Cory Manwich
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Kingpin 2: Candlepin Bowling
May 31, 2009
The Kingpin is back on the loose in a madcap caper through New England. Laughs, gutterballs and date night thrills are around every corner as bowling’s ultimate con-man hits the lanes in one of this summer’s most anticipated sequels.
Woody Harrelson returns as Roy Munson, the alley cat with a heart of gold. After being banned from professional bowling and automobiles for operating under the influence, he makes his way East. Where he meets a plucky orphan in need of an operation. To get the money, Roy goes on the only lanes that will have him, in rural New England.
Look for Kingpin 2: Candlepin Bowling as it rolls straight to DVD, blu-ray and PSP on July 12th.
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Star Trek
May 18, 2009
review by Al Todorovic
The new Star Trek movie with Captain Kirk aboard the Enterprise is great, a tour de force.
It’s set in space with rocking spaceships blasting around the galaxy. Lasers and aliens and bullshit. The best scene in the movie is from the trailer, when they’re skydiving. Kirk and Sulu land on a thousand foot high space-drill and get into a fist fight with a few romulan bozos.
Trying it all fresh instead of dusting off the seventies crew is sweet. These characters are great: the fearless annoying skipper, the straight-laced lieutenant, the drunken doctor, a hot chick and a scottish, asian and russian archtype. It’s not a Batman Begins style new beginning where the past is erased, this is actually a paralel-blah blah.
It’s way less boring then other trek stuff, but the first half hour is still pretty boring. After that it picks up. Lots of fan stuff, Captain Christopher Pike begins as the commanding officer of the Enterprise and Leonard Nimoy is in it as future Spock.
I saw it twice in a row opening day and I haven’t done that since Spiderman 2.
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Tyson
May 15, 2009Review by Evan Weber
“I chased her into the women’s bathroom, lifted her up on the corner of the sink, and performed fellatio on her.”
Sincerely deranged comments like this shape Tyson (James Toback), a Mike Tyson documentary narrated by Tyson himself. The entire film consists of Iron Mike’s commentary, which is at once childish, pensive, self-aware, and fearful, spliced with vintage fight footage and scenes of Tyson contemplating various thoughts on the beach (which is pretty hilarious when detached from sincerity of the film).
If you think Mike Tyson is a thoughtless animal out for blood, than this film won’t exactly change your perception. It will, however, force you to understand the reasons why Mike doesn’t quite understand or regret many of the more harmful things he’s done or said.
As you can imagine, Mike Tyson didn’t grow up living in a cul-de-sac in the suburbs. Tyson spent his youth in some of the harshest projects in Brooklyn, NY, and learned early on that fighting was a way out. Tyson talks about a childhood where he was often in the hospital, sick with lung problems. On top of his illness, Mike was a small, fat kid who older thugs often stole from and beat up.
Everything changed when one of the older thugs killed one of Mike’s pet pigeons. Mike was distraught; he beat the older man severely. From that point on, Mike knew fighting would protect him.
Mike was done being a coward. He was, and still is “…afraid of being that way again.” Tyson invites the viewer to re-visit the Mike Tyson story through the man’s eyes, and what you see is a life guided by fear.
This documentary is excellent. See it, especially if Mike Tyson disgusts you. He’ll surprise you. A little.
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